Together in Grief

ONE WOMAN’S EXPERIENCE

For months after my husband died, I refused to fall apart in front of our adult children or close family members. Though I comforted them, I had a difficult time accepting their comfort in return. I didn’t know why. Being stoic was not something I had pre-planned.

After some self-examination, I discovered a number of uncomfortable things about myself:

1) I was prideful—even in grief. I didn’t want anyone, especially my children, to think I couldn’t handle life on my own.

2) I was stubborn. I refused to be “needy.”

3) I was deceptive. I hid my heart and my feelings, which only slowed my recovery process … and maybe theirs.

4) I was selfish. Not sharing my grief with others who loved my husband made family uneasy about sharing their grief with me.

5) I was over-protective. I thought by being strong, I could prevent my loved ones from feeling pain … which brings me back around to pride.

With “much prayer and supplication,” genuine exchanges of sympathy and sorrow eventually helped in healing our broken hearts.

SCRIPTURE

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18 ESV)

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. (Matthew 5:4 NASB)

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NLT)

TAKEAWAY

As much as you’re able during this tender time, share your grief with your family in truth and in love.