Arranged Marriages On the Rise in America

After being widowed for a season, the idea of remarrying surfaced. You probably noticed I used the word “remarrying” rather than “getting out there,” seeing someone,” and/or “dating.”

Not that I planned to marry the first man who came along. Sheesh, I’m not that silly. I just wanted the first man who came along to be the man I wanted to marry. Made sense to me. Yet it took eight years of being single for me to realize that, no matter how hard I tried, God would not be rushed. 

During my impatient years [No wise remarks from those who know me well!], I discovered there is a big difference between the male and female’s thought process in the early stage of a relationship (or in any stage for that matter). I conducted my own simple, albeit non-scientific survey. To keep the playing field level, I chose single people of all ages from both sexes and asked them the exact same questions.

My questions required a simple “yes” or “no” answer.  Here are the questions:

1. Do you know what a hope chest is?
2. Have you ever googled a person’s name right before or after the first date?
3. Have you ever paired your name with their name to see how it looks and sounds?
4. Have you ever used Google Maps/Street View to look at a potential date’s house?
5. Do you wonder what your friends will say about how they dress?
6. Have you picked a church for your wedding?
7. Do you try on engagement rings periodically?
8. Have you ever tried on a bridal gown or a tux?
9. Have you thought about where you want to live after you’re married?
10. Do you have your bridesmaids and/or ushers picked out?
11. Do you check out their Facebook photos to see if they were ever paired with someone better looking than you?
12. Have you decided where you’ll spend the holidays—with your family or theirs?
13. Have you ever dreamed about owning and filling a minivan?
14. Have you considered how soon you can change his or her wardrobe?
15. After you first visited your significant other’s home, did you make a list of what needed to go and sign up for HGTV design tips?

Here are the results of the survey:

• All the women answered “yes” to all questions.
• All the men answered “no” to all questions.

Here’s what the overall study revealed:

• Arranged marriages still exist in today’s society. They’re just arranged by the bride-to-be instead of her parents.

What was it like in my case before I remarried? David (now my husband), was quicker than most. He caught on when, on our way to an event one day, I said, “By the way, if anyone says ‘Congratulations’, just thank them and go with it, okay?”

 

“One day her mother-in-law Naomi said to Ruth, ‘My dear daughter, isn’t it about time I arranged a good home for you so you can have a happy life? And isn’t Boaz our close relative, the one with whose young women you’ve been working? Maybe it’s time to make our move. Tonight is the night of Boaz’s barley harvest at the threshing floor. Take a bath. Put on some perfume. Get all dressed up and go to the threshing floor. But don’t let him know you’re there until the party is well under way and he’s had plenty of food and drink. When you see him slipping off to sleep, watch where he lies down and then go there. Lie at his feet to let him know that you are available to him for marriage. Then wait and see what he says. He’ll tell you what to do.’ Ruth said, ‘If you say so, I’ll do it, just as you’ve told me.’ She went down to the threshing floor and put her mother-in-law’s plan into action.” ~ Ruth 3:1-6 (MSG)